People with SPMSP

One thing I don't like is people with SPMSP (specific person mood swing problems) I personally believe that you should chose wether or not you like someone and stick with it. But please don't jump back and forth and then intentionally nonchalantly try to make that person feel bad by showing your feelings towards them. THATS JUST STRAIGHT UP RUDE! Not only do I witness this but I have had experience with this! Today especially! This person cannot make up their mind and because of this I've made up mine. My motto is: I love and am naturally friendly to everyone until you give me a reason not to be this way. And this person clearly has given me a reason not to. I'm tired of these silent unspoken games. I could care less about you now....and you know something else? They only talk to you when they need something. But it's cool. Life moves on. I won't know you 10 years down the road so why bother to care.

Look beyond someone's past. It's worth it.

Never EVER judge anyone by their past. EVER. All of my blogs come from a personal experience so trust me. People ALWAYS judge me especially family members. As a young girl I used to be very quiet and observant. I never really expressed myself and as I have gotten older they never give me a chance. That is why i never fully express myself around them. and they don't understand that. And when I try to I'm always brought down. It kills me inside that's why when I go to school I am TOTALLY able to be ME! And i love that. This is one reason why i am still confused about who i truly am. My family does not know the real me. And it's sad. I know some might say: "start to be yourself now!" But it's hard. They have such an imprint on how I was brought up that if I dare try to be myself I feel as though I would be criticized for it! For my own opinion! And to make it worse the criticism is always negative! Who won't be upset when all they receive is negativity and then to say I'm ungrateful and unappreciative?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Do you want me to get down on my knees and worship you?! I always am grateful and I always show it by saying thank you or by giving back! I honestly don't know what to do anymore! Everything just crammed up inside, my thoughts, my feelings. EVERYTHING! Thank God for blogs. It's like all the feelings I have inside fuel my tears. Sometimes I feel invisible. Everywhere I go.literally. When I'm with someone else they see the other person first. No joke. I'm just done. I don't know what to do anymore. If only people looked and cared about who I REALLY AM. It would be totally worth it.

I'm BAAACK

HEYYY party people! No. I'm not dead. I know I haven't posted in a while but I'm alive and well! How at you guys doing? (I don't think anyone is reading this... But, anyway) I will continue to post my thoughts, but oh boy has it been absolutely hectic for me with school, driving school, and just growing up in general. I have not shunned my blog. (Not at all) thoughts continue to run in my head.. Many MANY blogs will be coming soon. This is only the beginning.

Letter to:

Letter to: 
Yemaya #30 (future WNBA All-star) & The John Carroll Women's Basketball Patriots:

     You guys shouldn't hold on to loses like that. I'm not saying you guys

shouldn't be upset because that's natural for anyone to be upset. If your not

upset, then that means you didn't  believe you would win. But you should take

every loss and use it as motivation to win the next game. Watching you guys

play, I noticed you guys often tend to mentally give up when you see 1:00 left 

and  you're down by 8 but the game isn't over yet! And you guys start to play

like you already know you loss. If you keep the momentum up the entire game and

actually shoot the ball... Not just throw it up hoping it goes in, the points

would accumulate and you guys would actually win. You guys gotta make the

opponent work for it because 1/2 the time they're not even all that good. I

understand how unfair the refs could be. At times it makes me wonder how the

heck did they get certified to be refs. But that's all apart of the life lesson

that comes out of playing basketball. Things will be unfair but you have to 

learn how to be strong and bounce back from the fall. We all fall down in life 

but only we can choose whether we get back up or not. This is all apart of your

story. Fail your way to success Maya.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/explore/harford/sports/ph-ag-girls-basketball-0104-20111229,0,5451954.story

sigh.

ive been a little depressed lately. im not too sure why but it seems like im letting a lot of people down lately. its all unintentional and i mean letting them down by not catering to their needs. its hard for someone who loves making others happy to say no to someone else, but I dont understand why you'd hate me for that, especially if you're an adult. for the past few days i haven't produced any humor. that's strange. i want to believe all of this is stemming from the ignorance of most people. and when i say ignorance i mean the absence of knowledge of basic skills in social interactions. my quietness makes people think im shy but what they dont know is that everyone is not worth talking to. i refuse to waste my time. im not feeling like myself.

Ever thought of this?

One thing everyone wants is to be loved. The worst feeling ever is to feel unwanted. Think about this the next time you interact with someone.